10 Ways to Develop Time Management Skills
Time management is up there with organization as one of the top struggles parents come to me with. All children, and especially children with ADHD, need opportunities to practice managing their time and developing their toolkit of time management strategies.
The ability to purposefully manage our time in order to accomplish what we need AND want to do is crucial for kids, teens, and adults.
Some people seem to effortlessly do this well. They are those people who you look at them and think that they must have somehow unlocked extra hours in the day.
Full disclosure: I am not one of those people. I wish I could give you the secret to extra hours in the day, but if it exists, I haven't discovered it.
Time management continues to be a skill that I struggle with. But along the way, I've discovered some tools and strategies that have made a difference for me and the students I work with.
Time Management and ADHD
It probably comes as no surprise that people with ADHD often struggle with time management. One common symptom of ADHD is often referred to as time blindness.
Most people develop an internal clock that lets them accurately sense the passing of time. Scientists think it has something to do with our heartbeat. Someone who is time blind is unable to do this accurately.
Signs of time blindness and time management struggles include:
Underestimating or overestimating how long a task will take
Being late most of the time
Missing deadlines
Frequently losing track of time
Trouble making realistic schedules and following them
Difficulty with estimating how long ago an event happened
It is also important to note that children and adults with ADHD often have significantly shorter time horizons than neurotypical peers. A time horizon is the farthest point in the future that is close enough to motivate actions in the present. Events beyond this "time horizon" tend to feel imaginary and not "real" enough to impact behavior.
Most children have short time horizons. They typically don't see beyond a few hours or days into the future. As we get older, our time horizon extends and we can plan for months or even years in the future.
But for teens and adults with ADHD, their time horizons often remain short. ADHD expert Russell Barkley refers to this as "future myopia."
What Can Parents Do to Help Develop Their Child's Time Management Skills?
First, you need to ask yourself this: Does your child or teen rely on you to be their time keeper?
Are you tired of constantly having to nag your child about what time it is and what they need to be doing?
It's time to start turning over some of that time keeping responsibility to your child or teen. Now is the time to let them figure out what tools work for them.
No, I'm not saying you let them oversleep and miss school. But I am saying that you help them pick out an alarm clock that works for them and teach them to set it each night.
Or instead of telling them it's time to get dressed for school, help them figure out their morning routine and map out how long each task takes and when they need to start in order to get to school on time.
Eventually our children will leave our homes and not have us as their time keepers. Wouldn't it be nice if they could start practicing those skills now when the stakes aren't as high?
What's an area you can start letting your child be more in charge of keeping track of time?
Ten Ways to Develop and Support Time Management Skills
Now that we've established that time management is a struggle for children with ADHD and weak executive function skills, let's dive into the 10 ways you can support and develop this essential skill.
1. Use Visual Timers
Not all clocks are created equally! If time blindness is something you or your child struggles with, then it might be time to reconsider the types of clocks that you use. An analog clock does a much better job of showing a visual representation of time than a digital clock does.
But even better than a regular analog clock is a clock that is specifically designed to visually display time passing.
2. Set Multiple Alarms
We often set our phone alarms to wake us up, but they can also be used for other events and reminders throughout the day. Consider customizing the alarm sounds for different reminders. If your child struggles to keep track of time, setting alarms can be more helpful and effective than needing you to constantly nag her about the time. Google Home and Alexa also have the capability to set alarms and reminders.
3. Beware of Time Sink Holes
It happens to all of us. You pick up your phone to check an email and the next thing you know an hour has gone by with you scrolling through social media. Help your child identify what activities are "time sink holes"--this could be any activity where he or she tends to lose track of time. This doesn't mean that these activities should be avoided altogether, but it can be helpful to set an intention and an alarm ahead of time to make sure that she doesn't get so absorbed by the activity that other tasks or scheduled activities are ignored.
4. Fake Deadlines
Many people with ADHD thrive on pressure. We need to feel the urgency of a quickly approaching deadline to kick us into action. But this can also cause an unnecessary level of stress. Create fake deadlines by taking the actual deadline and moving it a little bit earlier. So if you know that you have to leave you house by 7:30am to get to school, tell yourself that you have to be in the car by 7:20am instead.
5. Set Mini-Deadlines
In addition to setting fake deadlines, create multiple mini-deadlines. If you have a project that is due in two weeks, divide the project up into smaller chunks and assign each of those chunks its own deadline.
6. Scheduled Free Time
This one might sound counterintuitive, but knowing that free time is scheduled can actually help us power through those less desirable tasks. So if you find your child reaching for their phone or gaming device instead of doing homework, it might be helpful to point out that there is time scheduled for those activities at another point in the day. Doing activities that we enjoy and find relaxing or fulfilling helps us do the things that might be less enjoyable.
7. Practice Estimating Time
Time blindness can make it difficult for some children and adults to accurately estimate how long a task might take. Your child might whine about homework and how it will take hours and hours to do, when in reality it only takes five minutes. Help your child develop this ability to estimate how long tasks take by asking, "How long do you think that will take?" or "How much time do you need to do that?" Then when they are finished, compare their estimate to how long it actually took. With repeated practice, their estimates will become more and more realistic.
8. Conduct a Time Audit
Time blindness might result in a skewed idea about how the hours of the day are spent. Conducting a time audit can be revealing and help older children and teens reflect on if their time usage aligns with their goals and values. Ask your child to keep a log of how they spend their time during the day. Were there any surprises? If your child has a smartphone, many phones have a feature that will show you how much time you spent on the phone and even on specific apps. If phone use is a concern, this can be an eye-opening feature.
9. Use a Focus App
If your child or teen struggles to self-regulate screen use, discuss installing an app that blocks certain apps, video games, or the internet all together during specific times of the day or after an amount of time has been used.
10. Create a Calendar Review Routine
As parents, we are typically in charge of the family calendar. Shift that responsibility by including your child in making the calendar. Set aside time at least once a week to preview the week ahead as a family.
