It's time to plan to teach planning...

How did you learn how to plan?

Uh...

Hmm...

Are you going to tell me you just kind of figured it out? Or were you lucky enough to be born knowing how to do it?

Or maybe you still haven't figured it out completely. You're more of the winging it kind of person. Or at least that's what you tell yourself.

That's what I told myself for many years.

So here's my confession...

Planning does not come naturally to me. But procrastinating does. I pulled my first all-nighter when I was in second grade. Let's just say that a procrastinating perfectionist 2nd grader and a social studies diorama assignment are not a good combination. I remember being surprised to learn that my classmates weren't up into the wee hours of the morning putting finishing touches on their dioramas like I was. To me, it seemed like they knew some secret that I hadn't been let in on.

That was the first of many all-nighters. Dark circles became a regular feature of my face. I'm pretty sure that I would be several inches taller today if I had gotten more sleep as a teenager.

It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized that all nighters weren't the only way. That secret power my peers seemed to have was really just a skill that I hadn't learned. But it was a skill I could and would learn.

For some people, planning comes naturally to them. But for a lot of people, myself included, it didn't. And for many in that group, it isn't something they'll just magically figure out on their own.

If you're a natural planner, it might boggle your mind that planning is a skill that actually has to be taught. But when you don't have to dig too deep on Google to find hundreds of so-called productivity gurus teaching planning methods they claim will change your life, it becomes clear just how much people want and NEED to be taught these skills.

Why now is the time to develop our children's planning skills more than ever before

In last week's blog post, we explored Family CPR: Connect, Plan, and Reconnect. Today we'll take a deeper dive into what the planning step looks like.

If your children are in virtual, hybrid, or home school, they have more discretion over how to use their time than ever before. Prior to the pandemic, almost their entire day was scheduled for them. Between school schedules and extracurricular schedules, children were shuttled from one activity to another without having to make many choices about how to use their time.

Now they find themselves in a very different situation. Large chunks of the day are at their disposal to do with as they please. Older children might have school assignments that they have to decide when and how to complete during the day. Then there are the virtual class meeting times to keep track of, and this schedule might shift from day to day.

While this might feel like a three ring circus at times, it also presents a valuable opportunity for our children to develop their planning skills in a way they never could before.

But we can't just expect these planning skills to suddenly appear and develop on their own, especially if this is the first time your child has actual discretion over how to use her time. Sure, it might be easier for you to keep control over the schedule. Maybe you have a system you love (I'm looking at you, color-coded spreadsheet maker!), and you're thinking there's no way for your child to take that over (how could he possibly remember the different color meanings?!).

Before you triple password protect that precious color-coded spreadsheet, take a deep breath. It's okay if your child doesn't plan exactly like you do. What matters is that she tries out different systems and finds a method that works for her. It's also okay if her plans aren't so great at first. In fact, I can almost guarantee they won't be. But the learning she'll have from her mistakes far outweighs the inconvenience of some less than perfect plans.

Planning is a skill that takes time and practice to develop and that can't happen if you never hand over the reins to your child. Below you will find four easy strategies you can implement to encourage your child to begin to develop planning skills. As an added bonus, this work will help your child become more self-sufficient with school work and reduce complaints of "I'm bored!"

STRATEGIES TO TEACH PLANNING

Model

If you're like a lot of people these days, your calendar and to-do list might exist exclusively in the digital realm. That's great, if it works for you. But there's one major drawback to this. Our children don't see us keeping a calendar and jotting down to-do lists in the same way they would if we used pencil and paper. The next time you need to remember an important date, try to point out to your child how you're adding it to your calendar to remember. Let her watch you go through your to-do list as you check items off and add new ones. Make whatever system you use to plan your days and tasks very visible to your child. Let him or her hear you think aloud as you plan your day and week.

Keep a Family Calendar

There's no reason for you to have the permanent position of being your child's social secretary and extracurricular activity coordinator. Even kindergarteners can begin to help maintain the family calendar. Set aside time at the start of each week to review the days ahead. Mark important assignments and events on the family calendar together. I especially like this Post-It Note Calendar system because it is easy for children to write on post-it notes and then stick them to the appropriate date. For younger children, I recommend this magnetic calendar. (Discloser: These are affiliate links. If you use these links to buy something, I may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting this site.)

Create a Daily Schedule Together

If your child is in virtual or hybrid school, his schedule might shift from day to day. Taking some time to review it in the morning (or even the night before) serves as a sort of dress rehearsal for the day ahead. Encourage your child to take the lead in creating his schedule. When does he think he'll need to take a break? Does he want to work on his math practice before or after lunch? What would he like to do this afternoon when school is over? Letting your child make choices and take control over their daily schedules boosts their sense of ownership and independence, which ultimately leads to greater levels of cooperation.

For younger children, this magnetic daily schedule can be helpful.

Our children are so used to being told what to do and when to do it that this kind of work might be met with some resistance at first. But it is well worth the effort because at some point they will need to take full responsibility for planning their own schedule. If this process feels overwhelming, encourage your child to begin by scheduling in the big rocks of the day--meal time, bedtime, class time, and any other scheduled commitments. Then he can schedule in other tasks around those anchor points.

Play Plans

While I am a big advocate for giving children unstructured playtime, I also believe that we can help children develop important skills by sometimes encouraging them to be intentional with their free time. This could look as simple as asking your child to make a plan for what she would like to do during her free time. Have her make a list of several activities she plans to do (i.e. puzzle, coloring book, playing outside), and encourage her to look at this list the next time she says she doesn't know what to do. Older children could be asked to plan out a schedule of activities for the weekend including everything from family outings, household chores, meals, and a movie night.

Someday your child will be in charge of his entire schedule. Now is the time to let him develop the planning skills he will need to succeed. Let's take advantage of this opportunity the pandemic has given us to help our children grow this essential skill.