Put an end to task avoidance

You ask your child to do something. Maybe it's working on a school assignment. Maybe it's cleaning their room.

Minutes pass. Your child doesn't do it.

You prompt again.

Your child ignores you, whines, flat out refuses, says she'll do it later, or complains that it's too hard.

Sound familiar?

I'm going to share my secret for helping kids get things done, overcome procrastination, and end task avoidance. Hint: it works for adults too!

Unlike the productivity gurus out there who want us to believe that we must buy their complicated systems and apps in order to be productive, this is an incredibly simple trick. In fact, I can sum it up in 3 words.

Ready for it?

BREAK IT DOWN.

This very simple trick packs a deceptively powerful punch, and the great thing about it is that it's easy enough for our children to learn how to do it on their own.

Why it works:

To understand how this strategy works, we first must explore the thoughts and feelings that are behind our children's task avoidance. When they ignore us or say, "I don't want to," or "It's too hard," what they might really be thinking and feeling is:

• This feels overwhelming. I have no idea where to start.

• I don't understand what I'm being asked to do.

• I don't think I'm good enough/smart enough to do this task, so why bother trying.

• I'd rather be doing something else instead.

When we help our children break down a task into small chunks, we're addressing all of these thoughts and feelings.

Think about how you might introduce a new food to a picky eater. Perhaps first you start with a sniff, then a lick, then a nibble. We can follow a similar approach to breaking down tasks.

The break it down strategy turns a task that feels unmanageable and overwhelming into a small, bite-sized task that is much more palatable.

How to do it:

It is just what it sounds like: take a task and break it down into smaller chunks or steps. You can go as small as you need to.

Have a pile of laundry that needs folding and feeling overwhelmed? Start by folding one shirt.

Worksheet of math problems waiting to be answered? Answer the first problem.

Essay that just won't write itself? Write the first sentence or paragraph.

History test to study for? Start by studying the first chapter or section.

Getting started on a task, also known as task initiation, is often the hardest step. It is much easier to begin a task when it feels small and finite. The first bite-sized chunk should be one that children experience easy success with. Once they realize that they can in fact be successful at this task, their motivation to keep going increases.

You can also break tasks down by time. Many children avoid starting an assignment because they feel like once they start, they'll never be done. It can be helpful for them to chunk by time: "Study for your science quiz for 10 minutes, then take a break."

However you divide up a task, make sure each chunk...

• has a clear starting and ending point

• is something your child is capable of completing without extreme effort

• will not take longer than your child's attention span

• brings your child one step closer to completing the whole task

• feels doable to your child (your child should be involved in breaking down a task!)

Not sure how to break down a task? Take a look at the graphic below for some ideas.