Need a little family CPR?

You're in a Zoom meeting for work. Your fifth grader interrupts you to say that she can't remember her password and has to log in to her virtual class RIGHT. THIS. SECOND. Your 1st grader barges in because HE'S. SO. HUNGRY. HE'S. GOING. TO. DIE. Then you hear your 3rd grader stomping away from her virtual math lesson because SHE. JUST. DOESN'T. GET. WHAT. SHE'S. SUPPOSED. TO. DO. You sigh and apologize to your colleagues and begin to triage the situation, which you've become a pro at since the same situation repeats itself day in and day out.

Sound familiar?

One of the most frequent complaints I hear from parents about virtual learning is that they feel it has negatively impacted their relationships with their children. Juggling work and other responsibilities on top of overseeing virtual school is no easy feat. Stress levels are high. Tempers flare. Things are said that we might not normally say. As one mom confided in me recently, "There's a reason why I didn't homeschool my daughter."

Many parents are finding that virtual school requires a great deal more parental supervision and handholding than simply turning on the computer. Even if you manage to slip away for a moment, you might find yourself being quickly (and possibly loudly!) summoned back to put out one fire after another. Before you resign yourself to a life like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, let's see if we can interrupt this cycle.

Your family needs a little CPR. No, not the kind that involves chest compressions, but one that will still revive your relationships and sense of connection with your children and hopefully, with some time and practice, increase their independence.

CPR = Connect. Plan. Reconnect.

1. Connect: Take some time in the morning to fill your child's figurative cup. Eat breakfast together, chat about things not related to school or work, cuddle on the couch, read a book together, go for a walk, or even do a morning yoga or guided meditation session. Front-loading this quality time will often result in less clinginess later on. By filling up your child's cup now, you are boosting her ability to problem solve and demonstrate independence in order for you to attend to your own work later.

2. Plan: After spending time connecting, set aside some time to plan out the day. It can be helpful to write this out on a family white board where everyone can refer to it throughout the day. Not only is this helpful for children to understand when their parents will and will not be available to them, it also gives them a valuable opportunity to practice time management. Ask your children to review their schedule and add class times and other commitments to the family schedule. Be sure to mark on the schedule when you will be available to assist with virtual school and when you cannot be interrupted. Discuss with your child what they might be able to work on independently and what tasks they might want to save until you are available. Be sure to also schedule in breaks in the day when your family can reconnect (see #3!).

3. Reconnect: Plan in times throughout the day to come back together as a family. Snack time and lunch can be natural breaks during the day, but family dance parties, neighborhood walks, and board games can also be welcome opportunities to reconnect and take a brain break.

Can your family benefit from a little Family CPR? Give it a try and let me know how it works for you!

Know another family in need of some Family CPR? Please share this blog with them!