Sometimes you need to dangle a carrot...

When I was a classroom teacher, one of my more frequently used report card comments was "Lacks motivation."

I thought motivation was the secret sauce some of my students were lacking. How could they not want to learn? More importantly, how could they not see that what I was teaching them was worthy of learning?

Hindsight is 20/20, right?

When we talk about motivation, we're quick to emphasize the importance of intrinsic motivation. It's true--some students are intrinsically motivated to learn. In fact, young children are almost all universally intrinsically motivated to learn. Their survival depends on their ability to make sense of the world around them.

But as students progress through school, that intrinsic motivation to learn is trained out of them. Their school performance becomes motivated by grades, peer pressure, and the desire to please parents and teachers.

This is when some students reach the conclusion that they are not able to do well in school, and their motivation to try decreases even more.

Now put those students in virtual school, and it becomes difficult for them to find even a drop of motivation.

We need to forget about intrinsic motivation for now. We can't expect our children to have intrinsic motivation to learn virtually. We need to help them find other strategies to motivate them to do their work.

We don't have to look for a model on how to do this. Look in the mirror. How do YOU motivate yourself?

I could tell you that I'm sitting here typing this blog post because I'm intrinsically motivated to help families who are struggling right now with virtual learning. This wouldn't be a lie. That is the underlying motivation behind my work, but it's competing against my master-level procrastination skills. I need something a bit stronger to get me sitting in my chair in front of the computer.

I make deals with myself. I think of something I can look forward to when I finish my work. Today it's a glass of iced chai latte and a scone (so yummy!). Other days it's watching a favorite TV show or getting to curl up with a good book.

You probably do the same. In fact, most adults reward themselves for completing tasks they might not be so eager to do.

But what do our kids do when they have to do something they really don't want to do?

Whine.

Complain.

Ignore us.

Procrastinate.

Whine some more.

Throw a temper tantrum.

I'm sure you know the drill. They avoid the task until you resort to threats or bribes.

The only reason they eventually do the task (and probably begrudgingly at that) is because YOU made them.

This cycle makes them reliant on you and dooms both of you to repeat it over and over again (complete with the endless whining).

Want a better way? Teach your child to do what you do as an adult and find ways to motivate themselves to do a task.

This doesn't mean you pay them or give them rewards. The idea here is that we're taking you out of the equation.

So what do you do?

Ask you child to make a list of activities he or she enjoys and could look forward to doing after completing a less desirable task. Write them down on today's printable (see below) and post it by your child's work area.

Each time your child has to do a task she doesn't want to do, ask her to look over her list of motivators and pick which one she can look forward to doing once she finishes her task.

You're teaching your child to dangle a carrot in front of him or herself, but it's a carrot they've grown and selected on their own. Being able to motivate yourself to do tasks you're not eager to do by finding a carrot to dangle is a valuable life skill, and one that is especially necessary right now during virtual learning.

Now if only I could rewind time to when I was slapping "Lacks motivation" in the comments on my students' report cards...Perhaps "Needs to be taught motivation" would have been more accurate.

Click the image to download your PDF printable: